The True (G)entleman

Nobody who knows me would think so. It’s a skill I have to appear like I have no problems. People are more likely to come to me for help if they think that I have no problems of my own.

Edit: Foreword: This post takes up 2 full pages on my laptops screen and it’s about my current relationship problems. You have been warned.

End edit.

I’m not sure what, but it’s 3AM and I’m motivated to write something. Definitely not homework though so I’m gonna try to just write and see where it goes.

I guess I’ll write about girls and relationships since that’s been on my mine a bit lately. Basically, I’m fucked no matter what I do in the situation I’m in.

There’s one girl who I dated for about a week a while back but then she broke up with me because she saw her ex and decided that maybe she had started dating too soon after breaking up with him. Even after we broke up I’ve still been sleeping in her room on a pretty regular basis and making out, groping, etc. you know, the stuff you usually do with a girl after you break up with her. What seemed like her being cute and fun at first has become really annoying because she doesn’t know when to stop and if she gets bored while I’m doing something she’ll interrupt it with something. Whether it’s throwing gold fish crackers at me, licking me, or just telling me to stop what I’m doing it gets annoying after a while because I never get anything done. Also she likes to tell me to do things for her ALL. THE. TIME. Nothing really big, stuff I would probably do if she just asked me to do it rather than ordering me to do it. Sometimes though I wouldn’t even do it then because it’s something like “Plug this in.” when the outlet is the same distance from her as I am meaning that instead of giving me the plug she could have plugged it in herself just as easily. She’s actually passed trash away from the garbage can towards me telling me to throw it away. After a while I just have to say no and tell her that she’s being stupid and annoying. When I don’t do what she wants (even if I don’t say anything about why) she thinks should slap me for it. Or if I say something she doesn’t agree with instead of saying so and why she doesn’t agree she just goes straight to slapping. You can only take so much slapping no matter how hard before you do it back, then she gets all mad about it even if she hit me 5 times harder than I hit her once. (To clarify when I say hit I mean barely even touching her just trying to get the message across that she needs to stop slapping me because just telling her not to do it has no effect.)

Then, there’s another girl who goes to college some hours away (not entirely sure but 3 hours at the most) who likes me who I went to high school with but never really knew. I still don’t really know her at all as a person but I thought she was pretty and she’s a gamer and likes some of the stuff I like etc. 

Both of these girls are really depressed all the time for no reason that I can see and refuse to talk to anybody but me about it and won’t look for help. Odds are they both have chemical imbalances or possibly in the case of the first girl attachment issues because she’s clingy as fuck and gets depressed if I’m not sleeping in her room with her. I’m a psych major, I read psych textbooks in my free time every now and then, and I’m taking a 300 level Psychology course my first year of college but neither of them will take my word that they should go to a professional.

Then there’s the issue of the underage girl who keeps hitting on me. She’s a Sophomore in high school so probably around 15 years old (WAY too young). I met her when I was going to the first girls homecoming game/dance for her old high school. Here’s how the meeting went: *girl walks up to me*/ “You’re hot.” *girl walks quickly away from me* Normally I tell any girls who are too young for me that I’m gay and they just give up. Unfortunately when I met her I was with another girl so she knows that’s not true. She’s been talking to me on Facebook recently and I try to keep the conversation normal but she just throws things out randomly like “I’m naked”. No relation to the conversation at all.

Really this issue could be avoided by just ignoring her until she goes away but 1. In my experience that’s just gonna make it worse. and 2. I actually like her personality. I’m sure you already see the dilemma, It’s illegal for me to do anything other than kiss her but it’s rare for me to find a girl who doesn’t really annoy me who I like. She’s crazy about the Kingdom Hearts games which are some of my favorite games ever. She likes Final Fantasy which is basically the series of games that got me into gaming the the first place. Basically those last 2 sentences are “she likes video games”. Seems small but it’s something that’s important to me. I’ve dated a girl who used to tell me how stupid video games are all the time and how I was wasting my time on em. ANNOYING. AS. FUCK! I just can’t deal with somebody insulting something that has played a major part in my life every time I do it. Take a second and thing of something, whatever it is, that you think helped to shape who you are today and still plays a role in your life. Now imagine you’re dating a girl (or guy for that matter) who won’t stop telling you that thing is a waste of time.

So my choices are:

1. Stay with the first girl who I don’t really like and can’t see myself being with for even a year. (not gonna happen)

2. Try to go out with the second girl and maintain a long distance relationship with a girl who I don’t even really know all that well. (probably not gonna happen)

3. Pursue things with the underage girl who I actually like but can’t do anything physical with legally for 2-3 years. (maybe)

4. Pursue things with the underage girl who I actually like and disregard the law and risk going to jail/having to register as a sex offender. (yeeeeah pretty sure that’s not gonna happen)

5. None of the above. (maybe)

Anyways, I’m gonna end this ridiculously long post about my relationship problems here. If you read it thanks and feel free to leave feedback. If not I understand as it’s a pretty long post about somebody you may or may not knows relationship problems.

20. Your opinion on cheating on people.

Well obviously I’m not going to endorse it, but I can understand it. I’ve been in the position where I have the option of cheating on a girl (we weren’t technically dating but it’s a long story to explain, short version: she would have considered it cheating on her) and it’s not just a “I WANT MORE SEX” decision. It forces you to think about how much you care about the person you’re with and if the person you would be cheating on them with is somebody you care about more. I didn’t cheat, but it opened my eyes to the fact that I didn’t really want to be in a long-term relationship with the girl I was with. First night I didn’t sleep in the girls room it took me 5 minutes to leave the room because she was being so clingy.

that say the most common lie is “I’m fine.” but sometimes people actually mean that they’re fine. I’m pretty sure the most common lie is “I have read and agree to the Terms and Conditions.”

19. What you’d do if you were invisible for a day.

Sell invisibility tonic that takes a day to kick in.

Who’s gonna identify me when they figure out it doesn’t work?

when you’re talking to a girl on facebook and she just randomly tells you that she’s naked? I thought we were having a NICE conversation and SHE was just thinking about SEX the whole time!

is it a good idea to microwave a condom for her pleasure?

.

.

.

No.

Don’t ever microwave a condom. You’re dumb.

lol these videos are hilarious

http://www.youtube.com/user/JPizzle1122#p/u/385/NYX4ZFYjsBQ

If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.

or does watching Just Do It remind you of The Mask?

I don’t know and I don’t care.

and click listen.

lolololoololloloollololloloooolollololoololollolool lololololoololoollololololololloollololollolawl

that shit down there was caused by a snake bite. 

Glad I could make you afraid/more afraid of snakes.