January 2011
I just want to get you in bed and disappoint the...
"Do you like ICP?"
Yeah man, I love internet child porn.
Text: Where is this picture from?
Me: …who are you and how long have you been stalking my profile that you got to a picture I uploaded 2 years ago?
This kid in the lobby has been listening to Black...
I have no problem with this.
*Phone rings unknown number*
Hello?
Hey who is this?
Adam.
Adam?
Yeah.
You wanna fuck tonight?
I’m busy.
My roommate took my stamp and put one on our CA.
“I’m not supposed to condone this kind of thing…but this is awesome.”
Business cards just came in.
Pictures later.
Somewhere in Brooklyn - Bruno Mars
veni vedi wenti
I came.
I saw.
I left.
I wanna do whatever you wanna do...
I’m gonna go eat fried chicken.
Get money,
get paid. Chi city mayne.
Move mail one box down,
force neighbors to meet each other.
Pick fight with loneliest guy in bar,
intentionally lose so he gets laid.
Call sex line,
Ask girl how her day was, don’t hang up.
30 Day Challenge - Day 24 - Shut up this is day...
24. A bit about your social life outside of Tumblr.
I could’ve sworn I did this but day 24 doesn’t show up in the titles I’ve already used so I suppose I’ll just start back here. Not that I ever stopped or anything.
Where do we start… I have classes that never start until at least 10AM so I get to sleep in a bit. I’m a neophyte in the fraternity Sigma Alpha...
Hit on married women in front of their husbands.
Your bruises just rekindled a dead romance.
State of the Union drinking game.
Rule 1: Drink whenever there’s an applause break.
Rule 2: If everybody stands up take 2 drinks.
You probably won’t learn too much about the state of the union but you will get drunk. So just like if you had gone out drinking instead of listening to the State of the Union address.
That awkward moment when every artist that...
“The less you talk, the more you hear.”
– (via painfulthought)
Dear Honors Social Problems reading assignment.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WHO IS HIM? THERE’S NO NOUN WITH YOUR PRONOUNS AND YOU HAVE DOUBLE NEGATIVES AND I’M PRETTY SURE YOU’RE CALLING ALMOST EVERYBODY SIMPLE MINDED WHO ISN’T SOMEBODY YOU LIKE.
This guy’s a pretentious dick who likes to drop obscure names and use big nonsensical words and phrases.
How to get somebody to come to an event.
1. Say “There’ll be girls there.”
2. That’s it there’s only one step.
Im going to try to learn to breakdance!
uncomfortablyfresh:
ill-legalmaryjane:
ijustd0i:
vivianohvivian:
alexquisite:
Why? Because i wanna be able to do those handstand kisses i see in those pictures all the time :)
this ♥ (:
Y’all some little dumbass hoes.
I hope real b-boys come to your house at night and set your bedrooms on fire.
UGH. PREACH.
You guys need to chill and just let him learn. Commitment and love...
What the fuck is so wrong with liking to fuck?
“I just had a threesome. With my left and right hand.”
– Somebody from the internet.
“The turtle represents how you’re a pussy.”
– SMBC
“In every great relationship, there’s trust, respect, and awesome sex”
– Johnny Illest (via margaritalove2)
Leaving this right here..
(via uncomfortablyfresh)
Women don't want nice guys.
They want to want nice guys.
Mom, Dad,
I’d like to introduce you to the girl who lets me touch her boobies.
